I have waited for and anticipated the phone call from my Dr. since I had my EGD done on March 9, 2011.
While waiting for that call, I had many thoughts traipsing around in my head. And traipsing is what those thoughts did… walked around in my head needlessly. Most of all I envisioned myself laying on a hospital bed, in pain, and dying of some rare disease.
Then I envisioned myself at my funeral.
My thoughts after seeing myself at my funeral - I need to get an invitation list started cause there was not the expected number of guests that I had imagined would be there.
They were also all sad and pitiful looking - “that won’t do”, I screamed at them.
I was dead … no pain, up in Heaven jaw-jacking with GOD….so why so sad? Oh, I see now - jealousy!! Yeah, I was living the high life now!
I also don’t want people wearing black - that is so awful!!! Wear happy, bright colors.
I think I want the beach party atmosphere at my funeral. Everyone should be given leis as they arrive at my viewing and funeral! Everyone will get lei’d at my funeral!! Awesomeness.
Do you think it is possible to have an open casket at oceanside? I figure, just leave me out there for a couple days and nights … everyone can come and party with me at their leisure. Feel free to place your cans & bottles on my coffin cause even if it does leave a water stain, who cares??? I will soon be 6 feet in the ground.
Do you think I should hire a funeral planner?
Death and the funeral was not the only thing on my mind while I was waiting for that phone call.
I thought of fund raising activities that I could do to obtain the services of a medical team. I thought of how I could possibly conquer this awful thing that took up residence in my body, uninvited, I might add.
Then I thought that I would purge this unwanted, uninvited thing from my body by praying it out. I started praying for the cells in my body to heal. I took up a new interest in losing weight and eating healthy.
Then I got the phone call…."Hi, yes, this is Dianne." Then she asked how I was doing?? Very nervy little bitch, when she held the paper in her hand that told her exactly how the heck I was doing!!! I said I was ok or was I?? I demanded she tell me how I was doing??
She started saying things like, no celiac disease, no strictures, blah, blah, (I was getting irritated as she rambled on in some foreign language,medical-ease, when would she get to the stuff I wanted to know?) and no sign of cancer!! There was what I wanted to hear but didn't think she would ever get through her dissertation!! Woo Hoo…..yes it is true, no cancer. I don’t need a funeral planner yet.
I still think a beach get together of some sort is in order - I will even lay down in the casket for a bit. We could have my funeral dress rehearsal!!! Who is in?? Text me!!
She did inform me that I had a very inflamed stomach. Yeah, thats why I went to the Dr in the first place. Told me to start taking the old medicine in a new way. Thank God she did not tell me I had to insert it rectally! I just have to increase the number of times I take the Pantoprazol. Sweet.
Famous Daves BBQ here I come!!! Diet, you ask??? Yes, I did that for a week….I’m good now - I guess it really works.
Any ideas on what beach we should use for this funeral dress rehearsal??
Seriously tho - thanks for all your prayers!!
While waiting for that call, I had many thoughts traipsing around in my head. And traipsing is what those thoughts did… walked around in my head needlessly. Most of all I envisioned myself laying on a hospital bed, in pain, and dying of some rare disease.
Then I envisioned myself at my funeral.
My thoughts after seeing myself at my funeral - I need to get an invitation list started cause there was not the expected number of guests that I had imagined would be there.
They were also all sad and pitiful looking - “that won’t do”, I screamed at them.
I was dead … no pain, up in Heaven jaw-jacking with GOD….so why so sad? Oh, I see now - jealousy!! Yeah, I was living the high life now!
I also don’t want people wearing black - that is so awful!!! Wear happy, bright colors.
I think I want the beach party atmosphere at my funeral. Everyone should be given leis as they arrive at my viewing and funeral! Everyone will get lei’d at my funeral!! Awesomeness.
Do you think it is possible to have an open casket at oceanside? I figure, just leave me out there for a couple days and nights … everyone can come and party with me at their leisure. Feel free to place your cans & bottles on my coffin cause even if it does leave a water stain, who cares??? I will soon be 6 feet in the ground.
Do you think I should hire a funeral planner?
Death and the funeral was not the only thing on my mind while I was waiting for that phone call.
I thought of fund raising activities that I could do to obtain the services of a medical team. I thought of how I could possibly conquer this awful thing that took up residence in my body, uninvited, I might add.
Then I thought that I would purge this unwanted, uninvited thing from my body by praying it out. I started praying for the cells in my body to heal. I took up a new interest in losing weight and eating healthy.
Then I got the phone call…."Hi, yes, this is Dianne." Then she asked how I was doing?? Very nervy little bitch, when she held the paper in her hand that told her exactly how the heck I was doing!!! I said I was ok or was I?? I demanded she tell me how I was doing??
She started saying things like, no celiac disease, no strictures, blah, blah, (I was getting irritated as she rambled on in some foreign language,medical-ease, when would she get to the stuff I wanted to know?) and no sign of cancer!! There was what I wanted to hear but didn't think she would ever get through her dissertation!! Woo Hoo…..yes it is true, no cancer. I don’t need a funeral planner yet.
I still think a beach get together of some sort is in order - I will even lay down in the casket for a bit. We could have my funeral dress rehearsal!!! Who is in?? Text me!!
She did inform me that I had a very inflamed stomach. Yeah, thats why I went to the Dr in the first place. Told me to start taking the old medicine in a new way. Thank God she did not tell me I had to insert it rectally! I just have to increase the number of times I take the Pantoprazol. Sweet.
Famous Daves BBQ here I come!!! Diet, you ask??? Yes, I did that for a week….I’m good now - I guess it really works.
Any ideas on what beach we should use for this funeral dress rehearsal??
Seriously tho - thanks for all your prayers!!
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