I truly believe that circumstances, people and places cross our lives at just the right time. The intersection of Mountain Vist Hospital and Dianne just happened this past Friday, August 19,2011. It was a planned intersection but the people and events that crossed at the interesection was nothing short of wonderful.
I have been under the care of Dr. Elizabeth Jarem for a little over a year now. My life intersected with hers in July of 2010 when I was seen for unusual uterine bleeding. Dr Jarem has been phenomenal in dealing with me as a Dr. and as a human being and as a woman. She skillfully combines her expertise as a Gynecologist with her compassion for others.
As a patient of Dr Jarem, I never felt like I had time constraints when meeting with her for an office visit. Dr Jarem never appeared rushed to get out of the room and on to the next patient. It was like I was meeting with an old friend over coffee and could pour out what was on my heart.
After jumping through the many hoops, such as D &C and hydro-thermal Ablation, hormones, the decision was finally made to do a complete abdominal hysterectomy. When the insurance company put up some fences and tried to prevent the hysterectomy from occurring, Dr Mily Nieves, went to bat for me.
I saw Dr Nieves on Monday, August 15, 2011 after having a very difficult weekend with a trip to the ER for excessive bleeding and pain. Dr. Jarem was booked and I was placed in Dr Nieves care for the Monday appointment. I was nervous about seeing someone other than Dr. Jarem but my worries were soon quelled. I was a wreck over how I felt emotionally and that my insurance company was pulling the rug from under the surgery scheduled for Friday.
Dr Nieves soon eased my burdened heart and said she would handle the insurance company and would relay all the important information on to Dr. Jarem. I could now rest at ease that this all would be handled and I would have my surgery on Friday, August 19, 2011.
I showed up at Mountain Vista Medical Center for my hysterectomy at 7:15 am on the monrning of August 19, 2011. The paperwork and pre-operative testing had already been completed by me the previous week. I did not have to go into a little tiny cubicle with a patient representative and fill out tons of paperwork. It had already been done. I like how Mountain Vista had streamlined the whole paperwork shuffle on the day of surgery!
I was escorted by a very friendly volunteer down to the waiting area for the OR. I checked out my number on the screen and there I was, "arrived" is how I was classified.
Soon my daughter, Ashleigh, and her kids, Joshua, Hayleigh and Matthew showed up to support me. It was fantastic seeing them. Ryan had brought me in to the hospital but it was so refreshing to see my daughter and grandbabies. Ryan and her would take turns with me in the pre-op area.
It was a tad bit warm in the waiting area and I felt as if I was melting. I thought it was my nerves. I soon found out that surgeries were being delayed due to an A/C problem which they were working to correct. Surgeries could not be done until the OR rooms were cool enough.
I played with my grandchildren while waiting. Dr Jarem came by twice to make sure we were doing ok and to explain the situation to us. I am so glad she intersected my life over a year ago! Even when there are problems that arise, she treats it as a temporary inconveinance that will soon be handled.
Around 10:15 am, I was taken back to the pre-op prep area. The nurses in that area were wonderful. I wish I could remember everyones name and will do my best to get those details because I want to give credit where credit is due. Everyone that came in to contact with me in the pre-op area was outstanding!!!
I am a hard stick and yet there was a nurse who skillfully got an IV started in me! Then there was a familiar face from past surgeries at Mountain Vista Medical Center - Dan, Dan the anesthesia man. I felt like a familiar voyager in the sea of scrubs that surrounded me. Then the Captain of my ship appeared, Dr Jarem. I knew that I would safely sail through this and dock safely on the shores of post-op.
One request Dr Jarem did not grant was my request to have my uterus after it was removed from me. I wanted it in a jar of formeldehyde....so I could sell it on E-Bay. She looked at me quizically, almost unbelieving what she had heard, she smiled that sly little smile she gets and said NO! What??? I did not understand, it was part of my body and it brought to life 11 of my children. I did not understand why I could not have my baby incubator that now was as offensive to me as the smell from a mans armpits after a full on game of B-Ball with no antiperspirant???!!!
I went back to Post-Op and Dan gave me some "forget everthing" med in my IV. I remember being transferred over to the surgical table and it was around 10:45 in the morning. I knew they said the surgery would last around 2 and a half hours. Off to sleep I went, feeling safe and happy that the offending uterus would soon be history.
I woke to an empty little cubicle with my post op nurse standing at a desk right in front of my line of vision. I noted that the clock was at 2:45 pm or at least that was what my fuzzy brain interpreted the clock to read.
Dizziness and nausea gripped me and I just closed my eyes and wished it away. I opened my eyes again and my nurse was stationed at a small little desk right beside my bed. She saw me wake and immediatly got up to see how I was doing.
My post op nurse made sure my pain was as minimal as possible and I fell in love with her for that! She set me up with a Morphine pump instead of Dilaudid and I fell in love with her once again. I guess I felt sick from some dilaudid that was given or from Demerol that was given. So, I had made my journey to the other shore but still had a touch of sea sickness.
I think it was around 4:30pm that I made my way up to the Post Partum floor. I was greeted by my daughter, Ashleigh, and a bright smile that warmed my heart.
My nurse up on the PP floor was Donna and her partner in positive patient outcomes was Nancy! Donna would not let any ill become me while I was on her floor!! You don't mess around with Donna and she is totally there for her patients and their recovery.
Ryan soon was in the room with me. Quickly followed by Dr Jarem. WOW! Now here was a Dr who cared about her patients outcome! Soon Ann was bringing my lack of urine output to Dr Jarems' attention. I also said I felt swollen.
I was given lasix two different times that night and still not a lot of result from it. My history of Congestive Heart Failure was gone over and Donna stayed right on top of my care. It was like I was her only patient. Dr Jarem also kept appearing in my room to talk and go over my plan of care. What wonderful, capable hands I was in at Mountain Vista Hospital. Donna makes a positive impact on this floor and to those she gives nursing care to.
I will always remember, Nancy, and her encouragement with her smiles and by saying, "good for you", as I was up walking the halls. Nancy goes above and beyond in her role here on the PostPartum floor.
The next day I had a CAT scan and no felines were found. What was found was that my left ureter was not working right then. The guy who took me from my room to the scan was fantastic also. He is studying to be a nurse. His name is Nick and he told me the most humorous story about an older man and his name, "Nick", he had me laughing!! At Mountain Vista there is a spirit of seriousness but they also realize that laughter is healing also!! Susan did the CAT scan and was informative and kept me feeling a part of my own care!
I also had a KUB and chest x-ray that day and once again, Nick took me down for that. I am kicking myself for not remembering the girls name from radiology but she was over the top good!!!! I will get her name and edit this page when I obtain it. She told me her name, I am just forgetful and was on pain meds!!
The days and nights were filled with various faces. I had Helen as my night nurse on all the nights I was here, I think. Helen was thorough and conscientous. I loved her laughter and the way she was very careful about my care. Helen moved rapidly when I said I wanted to walk on Friday night and was tired of being in bed. Helen quickly loosed the wires that bound me to the bed. I still had to take a catheter bag and an IV poll with me.
Then I had Robin as a nurse. She reminded me of me when I was younger. Robin loves what she is doing as a nurse and makes a positive impact on those she is a nurse to. This floor is blessed to have her. She was ready with smiles and always an encourager. Robin even came to see me on her day she had off. I can tell I will be friends with Robin for ever!!
There was Christina who was my nurse on Monday. What a soft spoken, knowledgeable young woman she is. God never makes a mistake when putting people in your intersection in life. Christina was kind enough to listen as I unburdened my heart and soul to her. She didn't look at me differently or appear judgemental. I knew in my heart, Christina would be praying for me. Another nurse this floor is blessed to have.
There was also Joe who I was delighted to meet. He was quiet and kind. I also told him it was fantastic that he smelled so good when he came to my room to get my vitals. Joe makes for a vital part of the team up here on PP.
I also had an ultrasound of my kidneys on Monday and Seth was the U/S tech. I loved Seth. He had this southern charm about him and was sweet as a cool glass of sweet tea. We talked about Gateway college and their U/S course. I was delighted to have him as my tech!!
Then I ended my stay with Donna as my RN once again and Nancy working right along side her. They go together like mashed taters and gravy! Nancy is working on getting the names of the awesome team that worked with me in pre-op, in the operating room and in post-op, so that I am sure to give them the pat on the back they deserve.
A final visit from LeAnn Sexton, the Director of Women's Services rounded out my stay on the PP floor of Mountian Vista Hospital. I filled LeAnn in on how impressed I was with this floor and also with that of Operative Services. I would recommend Mountain Vista Hospital to anyone. I loved how well the staff on the PP floor worked with one another.
So from Dr Jarem and Dr Nieves right down to the volunteers that are at Mountain Vista Hospital, I enjoyed my stay here and felt like I had family taking care of me. Thank you for your excellent care that each of your staff imparts to its patients. Thank you for seeing my through this hysterectomy and taking note of any problems I was having and addressing it immediately. I hope that someday, Mountain Vista Hospital, will be the place where I work at as an RN!!
So with me safely through this intersection in life, I am pleased to say, that I happily traveled this way. If I ever need surgery or any other type of hospital stay, I would want to be here at Mountain Vista Medical Center.
**Will update this blog with the names of the people that impacted my stay here for the positive while I was here. I apologize for not remembering your names - probably due to the anesthesia.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Monday, August 1, 2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
HE Has My Heart
What you say gets twisted.
Your heart gets torn apart.
No one on earth will really understand.
I'm so glad Jesus has my heart.
Empty spots and great BIG voids.
Jesus has filled them all.
Emotions jumbled because with my feelings they have toyed.
I get weary of it all and into Jesus's arms I fall.
Challenges that encircle me,
Attempt to crowd out promises God made.
Storms come and so violent is the wind and rain,
Even with eyes wide open, things blur and fade.
Somewhere inside that dark, frightful storm:
Arms envelope and caress.
Now secure safe and warm.
My Savior guards me, pulls me out of this wretched mess.
Dianne Turner
Always Smilin',
Phil 4:13
dedicated to all those with a broken heart and wounded emotions. There is hope...there is Jesus. Turn your battles, worries and inability to go on over to Jesus....HE has your back.
Your heart gets torn apart.
No one on earth will really understand.
I'm so glad Jesus has my heart.
Empty spots and great BIG voids.
Jesus has filled them all.
Emotions jumbled because with my feelings they have toyed.
I get weary of it all and into Jesus's arms I fall.
Challenges that encircle me,
Attempt to crowd out promises God made.
Storms come and so violent is the wind and rain,
Even with eyes wide open, things blur and fade.
Somewhere inside that dark, frightful storm:
Arms envelope and caress.
Now secure safe and warm.
My Savior guards me, pulls me out of this wretched mess.
Dianne Turner
Always Smilin',
Phil 4:13
dedicated to all those with a broken heart and wounded emotions. There is hope...there is Jesus. Turn your battles, worries and inability to go on over to Jesus....HE has your back.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Womb With No View
Ladies, have you given much thought to that reproductive organ that you carry in your pelvis? The organ the size of a fist that can do a marvelous work for many of us - yes, I'm talking aboout the uterus. This little ball of smooth involuntary muscle can also have us in pain, feeling sick and ready to terminate its existence once a month.
Guys, you can't really relate to this because I don't think the majority of you men want to undergo a penectomy! A lot of guys have even named their gentalia, so I think they are fairly well attached to their reproductive organ.
I have a departure date for my womb, August 19th, 2011 at 9 am! My uterus has served me long and now it has become more of an encumberance than a thing of joy. We do live in a disposable society and since my uterus has outlived its usefulness, its time to say goodbye.
I do appreciate my womb for all the hard work it has done. My uterus has been an incubator for babies I gave birth to and those that I miscarried. My uterus has served as a baby hugger for 8 years, 8 months, 12 days and 6 hours. This figure includes all conception that was in my uterus, whether born alive or not.
I really overworked my poor uterus. My uterus tried to hang a retired sign up at one point but I showed it wrong and immediatly got pregnant!!! I will not be told what to do by any lower organ part in my body! Strike that last sentence because my little tiny gallbladder sure demanded my attention and permanently retired itself from my body!
The decision to "retire" my uterus has come with much thought. My uterus has been very attention seeking the last 4 years. I have had cramping that keeps me whimpering for hours. I have sought help from narcotics to ease the pain that it readily dishes out for weeks at a time.
I think my Dr has been more pensive than I over the removal of my uterus. I told her over a year ago to get rid of it. She told me that we should think about some other alternatives. It was like she was going to miss my uterus when it was gone.
So the past year has been filled with "thinking" which included 2 D&C's and a hydro ablation. While thinking about saying goodbye to my uterus, the uterus has been kind enough to fill me with bloating and pain.
Oh and besides the pain, I also was blessed with heavy monthly periods. Clots that I gave birth to and actually named. Cooper just about killed me...I named him Cooper because it was like a Mac truck with Cooper tires being ran all over me. (I threw the Cooper tire analogy in there to keep the guys reading because I think I was going to lose them at heavy periods and jumbo clots.)
My uterus does hold many good memories and the walls of my uterus are filled with the names written there by my babies. It is loaded with laughter, tears, and memories of the life that was begun there - in their womb without a view.
Those darned kids of mine occupied their time creatively though. In between kicks and sleeping, those fetuses took their time to engrave their names or initials on the wall of their watery den.
Beth and Ashleigh each engraved their name with flair. Both of them chose to engrave their WHOLE name!!! Beth drew a lil bunny rabbit beside her name(if you know Beth, you know why). Ashleigh spent hours doing pirouettes and plies - the plies just about ripped the uterus apart!!
Shawn is the one I got a kick out of...no, really, he kicked me a lot!! Shawn refused to come out on time, he said his sentence had been extended for bad behaviour!! Whenever I was in the stirrups at the Drs office and the Dr shined the light on my cervix, Shawn would bounce off the walls in an attempt to hide from who he thought was the cops. Shawn had to be born at home since there was the thought that the law would be waiting for him to arrive at the hospital.
Oh and of course, Shawn did his name in graffitti - bold and wonderful and somewhat unreadable.
Brandi and Krystal bedazzled their name in glitzy rhinestone. Don't ask how the bedazzler got in there!! Just think I improvised and went to WalMart instead of Fantasy Mart. Enough said.
Brandi is the only one of my kids who shared the womb with a sibling. Brandi wasn't having that!! I don't know what exactly went on in there but Brandi just isn't the sharing type and kicked her sibling to the curb.
Kelly kept trying to get more light in the womb and was constantly flicking her bic. So with her love of hot stuff, she used a woodburner to do her name. At one point, the amniotic fluid came to a boil and we had to shut her down for a while. I am just thankful for her name being short!
Stephanie did her name all in caps. She wanted to be bold and stand out, so that no one would ever forget. Stephanie, you are always in my heart!
Carley used chalk and soft pastel colors. I barely knew she was putting her name on the wall. She did not ever cause me much pain or grief. She just enjoyed the hugs that the womb provided her.
Trisha was in bold, bright purple permanent marker with dark black outlining. It is like readable graffiti. Trisha did not eat a lot while she was in the womb and came out as my smallest little baby at 6lbs 7oz.
Then Chaz came along and he changed up the womb for his stay. He made jumps and had many practice sessions getting his 360 down. He barely had time to put his name on the wall. Right below his name is a lil trademark symbol that looks like TK...hmmm.... (He now is part of Turner/Kuhn Racing)
Brandon loved the dominoes that he found in the womb. He utilized those to construct a robot. Then he made the most of his engineering capabilities and measured and perfected each letter of his name.
Christian just left a foot and hand print and then flew away to Jesus. He left the same prints on my heart. I love you baby boy. Stephanie and Christian are rocking the streets of gold in heaven....Jesus has earplugs.
I have made very good use of my uterus. Now it is time for us to part. It is like a balloon that has been blown up way too many times. It has spots that are worn thin and may just rupture if anything else occupies its space. The door to the womb is closed and to ensure that it stays closed, it is being removed and placed in the womb hall of fame.
With all the stories that my adenomyosis riddled uterus could tell, I am thinking of selling it on E-Bay. Maybe some gynecologist could use it as real life lecture material as what NOT to do to your uterus. Maybe some scientist could study it and develop cells from it to help someone who is desperately trying to get pregnant. Maybe it should just go in some museum somewhere to let others enjoy the stories it has to tell.
I just know this, I am misty yet relieved to be parting with my womb. I appreciate all you have done for me. I should have known you were done when you fell out and I had to drag you along behind me. I am sorry it took me years of dragging you across rough stones, burning hot sand and grass that tickled you to finally carry you in a soft comfy purse when I went out.
Look for Dianne's Womb on E-Bay....coming this August 2011!
Guys, you can't really relate to this because I don't think the majority of you men want to undergo a penectomy! A lot of guys have even named their gentalia, so I think they are fairly well attached to their reproductive organ.
I have a departure date for my womb, August 19th, 2011 at 9 am! My uterus has served me long and now it has become more of an encumberance than a thing of joy. We do live in a disposable society and since my uterus has outlived its usefulness, its time to say goodbye.
I do appreciate my womb for all the hard work it has done. My uterus has been an incubator for babies I gave birth to and those that I miscarried. My uterus has served as a baby hugger for 8 years, 8 months, 12 days and 6 hours. This figure includes all conception that was in my uterus, whether born alive or not.
I really overworked my poor uterus. My uterus tried to hang a retired sign up at one point but I showed it wrong and immediatly got pregnant!!! I will not be told what to do by any lower organ part in my body! Strike that last sentence because my little tiny gallbladder sure demanded my attention and permanently retired itself from my body!
The decision to "retire" my uterus has come with much thought. My uterus has been very attention seeking the last 4 years. I have had cramping that keeps me whimpering for hours. I have sought help from narcotics to ease the pain that it readily dishes out for weeks at a time.
I think my Dr has been more pensive than I over the removal of my uterus. I told her over a year ago to get rid of it. She told me that we should think about some other alternatives. It was like she was going to miss my uterus when it was gone.
So the past year has been filled with "thinking" which included 2 D&C's and a hydro ablation. While thinking about saying goodbye to my uterus, the uterus has been kind enough to fill me with bloating and pain.
Oh and besides the pain, I also was blessed with heavy monthly periods. Clots that I gave birth to and actually named. Cooper just about killed me...I named him Cooper because it was like a Mac truck with Cooper tires being ran all over me. (I threw the Cooper tire analogy in there to keep the guys reading because I think I was going to lose them at heavy periods and jumbo clots.)
My uterus does hold many good memories and the walls of my uterus are filled with the names written there by my babies. It is loaded with laughter, tears, and memories of the life that was begun there - in their womb without a view.
Those darned kids of mine occupied their time creatively though. In between kicks and sleeping, those fetuses took their time to engrave their names or initials on the wall of their watery den.
Beth and Ashleigh each engraved their name with flair. Both of them chose to engrave their WHOLE name!!! Beth drew a lil bunny rabbit beside her name(if you know Beth, you know why). Ashleigh spent hours doing pirouettes and plies - the plies just about ripped the uterus apart!!
Shawn is the one I got a kick out of...no, really, he kicked me a lot!! Shawn refused to come out on time, he said his sentence had been extended for bad behaviour!! Whenever I was in the stirrups at the Drs office and the Dr shined the light on my cervix, Shawn would bounce off the walls in an attempt to hide from who he thought was the cops. Shawn had to be born at home since there was the thought that the law would be waiting for him to arrive at the hospital.
Oh and of course, Shawn did his name in graffitti - bold and wonderful and somewhat unreadable.
Brandi and Krystal bedazzled their name in glitzy rhinestone. Don't ask how the bedazzler got in there!! Just think I improvised and went to WalMart instead of Fantasy Mart. Enough said.
Brandi is the only one of my kids who shared the womb with a sibling. Brandi wasn't having that!! I don't know what exactly went on in there but Brandi just isn't the sharing type and kicked her sibling to the curb.
Kelly kept trying to get more light in the womb and was constantly flicking her bic. So with her love of hot stuff, she used a woodburner to do her name. At one point, the amniotic fluid came to a boil and we had to shut her down for a while. I am just thankful for her name being short!
Stephanie did her name all in caps. She wanted to be bold and stand out, so that no one would ever forget. Stephanie, you are always in my heart!
Carley used chalk and soft pastel colors. I barely knew she was putting her name on the wall. She did not ever cause me much pain or grief. She just enjoyed the hugs that the womb provided her.
Trisha was in bold, bright purple permanent marker with dark black outlining. It is like readable graffiti. Trisha did not eat a lot while she was in the womb and came out as my smallest little baby at 6lbs 7oz.
Then Chaz came along and he changed up the womb for his stay. He made jumps and had many practice sessions getting his 360 down. He barely had time to put his name on the wall. Right below his name is a lil trademark symbol that looks like TK...hmmm.... (He now is part of Turner/Kuhn Racing)
Brandon loved the dominoes that he found in the womb. He utilized those to construct a robot. Then he made the most of his engineering capabilities and measured and perfected each letter of his name.
Christian just left a foot and hand print and then flew away to Jesus. He left the same prints on my heart. I love you baby boy. Stephanie and Christian are rocking the streets of gold in heaven....Jesus has earplugs.
I have made very good use of my uterus. Now it is time for us to part. It is like a balloon that has been blown up way too many times. It has spots that are worn thin and may just rupture if anything else occupies its space. The door to the womb is closed and to ensure that it stays closed, it is being removed and placed in the womb hall of fame.
With all the stories that my adenomyosis riddled uterus could tell, I am thinking of selling it on E-Bay. Maybe some gynecologist could use it as real life lecture material as what NOT to do to your uterus. Maybe some scientist could study it and develop cells from it to help someone who is desperately trying to get pregnant. Maybe it should just go in some museum somewhere to let others enjoy the stories it has to tell.
I just know this, I am misty yet relieved to be parting with my womb. I appreciate all you have done for me. I should have known you were done when you fell out and I had to drag you along behind me. I am sorry it took me years of dragging you across rough stones, burning hot sand and grass that tickled you to finally carry you in a soft comfy purse when I went out.
Look for Dianne's Womb on E-Bay....coming this August 2011!
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Dianne's Journey: Want ads: Mother
Dianne's Journey: Want ads: Mother: "Want Ads: MOTHER: Job Description: Lifetime team player who is ALWAYS willing to go the extra mile. Challenging position that requires st..."
Thursday, April 28, 2011
STORMY WEATHER
Be not a fair weather Christian; only giving thanks and praising God when things do prosper; but instead love God through thick and storm; through all holocausts and sacrifices; for the love of God is greater then all the problems, the sufferings and the calamities combined.
I actually love the storms in life that I am going through...hopefully, I will be able to help someone else weather storms in their life in the future. Unless you actually go through certain situations, you really have no idea how to help individuals.
Through the storms in life comes wisdom and patience. I have always loved thunder and lightning storms - watching them, dancing in the rain they produce....then waiting for beautiful flowers to blossom after the storm or seeing a marvelous rainbow. I can't wait to see what God has in store for me.
Oh, and yes, at times I do get a bit envious of others who have a running car, or money in their bank account but GOD snaps me back to reality quickly and reminds me that HE loves me and will provide ALL that I need and someday those same people may look back and remember a glimpse of me and how I handle the storms in my life!
I have come across many people in my life and now I watch them more analytically than I did when I was younger.
It is fun to go to the mall and just people watch. Imagine what they are thinking or saying. I make up little stories about why they walk so fast or why the Mom gets so mad at her little boy who scoops up some of the fountain water and splashes people going by. I used to be that Mom!
Now, I enjoy the fountain splashing moments and sometimes encourage my 4 year old or grandkids to do the same thing. I slide down slides and swing as high as I can. I take walks and actually enjoy the beauty around me, even in the midst of a storm.
The ones I observe the closest are the ones who are in my life on a consistent basis. I see their joys and tribulations and am filled with amazement at how they handle both.
I have observed that money makes those closest to me both wise and foolish. I also note that their smiles are larger, they laugh a little more when their bank accounts are full. Should it really be that way?
In the Bible it tells us: Phil 4:11 "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." Just because it says to be content, does it really mean that we should have a large smile on our face? I don't think so but we should be genuine in whatever state we are in.
I do believe that when we relish in God's goodness to us that the smile will be on our face at all times. No matter where we find ourselves in life, we will be thankful for God's provisions for us there. God did not promise a fat wallet, a Mercedes and the most gorgeous partner on the face of the earth. God did promise to meet our needs. When we look at what we have through God's eyes we see a well worn wallet where much money has passed thanks to Gods providing, we are thankful for the bike that gets us around town and we look at our partner and think they are the most delightful creature on the face of the earth.
Lets not be "fair-weather" christians who wallow in their sadness and distress instead of looking on the storm as a learning experience. Fair weather Christians become so "godly" when the sun is shining and flowers are in bloom but come the winter - they go into spiritual hibernation.
Storms are a blessed part of our lives. Come dance with me in the rain, feel the gusts of winds and don't let them blow you over. Stand firm. Turn to God and let HIM handle it because HE really wants to.
Lets not dwell on how bad the storm is, lets be looking for the beautiful rainbow at the end of our own personal storm.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
Anticipation & Its Affects
I have waited for and anticipated the phone call from my Dr. since I had my EGD done on March 9, 2011.
While waiting for that call, I had many thoughts traipsing around in my head. And traipsing is what those thoughts did… walked around in my head needlessly. Most of all I envisioned myself laying on a hospital bed, in pain, and dying of some rare disease.
Then I envisioned myself at my funeral.
My thoughts after seeing myself at my funeral - I need to get an invitation list started cause there was not the expected number of guests that I had imagined would be there.
They were also all sad and pitiful looking - “that won’t do”, I screamed at them.
I was dead … no pain, up in Heaven jaw-jacking with GOD….so why so sad? Oh, I see now - jealousy!! Yeah, I was living the high life now!
I also don’t want people wearing black - that is so awful!!! Wear happy, bright colors.
I think I want the beach party atmosphere at my funeral. Everyone should be given leis as they arrive at my viewing and funeral! Everyone will get lei’d at my funeral!! Awesomeness.
Do you think it is possible to have an open casket at oceanside? I figure, just leave me out there for a couple days and nights … everyone can come and party with me at their leisure. Feel free to place your cans & bottles on my coffin cause even if it does leave a water stain, who cares??? I will soon be 6 feet in the ground.
Do you think I should hire a funeral planner?
Death and the funeral was not the only thing on my mind while I was waiting for that phone call.
I thought of fund raising activities that I could do to obtain the services of a medical team. I thought of how I could possibly conquer this awful thing that took up residence in my body, uninvited, I might add.
Then I thought that I would purge this unwanted, uninvited thing from my body by praying it out. I started praying for the cells in my body to heal. I took up a new interest in losing weight and eating healthy.
Then I got the phone call…."Hi, yes, this is Dianne." Then she asked how I was doing?? Very nervy little bitch, when she held the paper in her hand that told her exactly how the heck I was doing!!! I said I was ok or was I?? I demanded she tell me how I was doing??
She started saying things like, no celiac disease, no strictures, blah, blah, (I was getting irritated as she rambled on in some foreign language,medical-ease, when would she get to the stuff I wanted to know?) and no sign of cancer!! There was what I wanted to hear but didn't think she would ever get through her dissertation!! Woo Hoo…..yes it is true, no cancer. I don’t need a funeral planner yet.
I still think a beach get together of some sort is in order - I will even lay down in the casket for a bit. We could have my funeral dress rehearsal!!! Who is in?? Text me!!
She did inform me that I had a very inflamed stomach. Yeah, thats why I went to the Dr in the first place. Told me to start taking the old medicine in a new way. Thank God she did not tell me I had to insert it rectally! I just have to increase the number of times I take the Pantoprazol. Sweet.
Famous Daves BBQ here I come!!! Diet, you ask??? Yes, I did that for a week….I’m good now - I guess it really works.
Any ideas on what beach we should use for this funeral dress rehearsal??
Seriously tho - thanks for all your prayers!!
While waiting for that call, I had many thoughts traipsing around in my head. And traipsing is what those thoughts did… walked around in my head needlessly. Most of all I envisioned myself laying on a hospital bed, in pain, and dying of some rare disease.
Then I envisioned myself at my funeral.
My thoughts after seeing myself at my funeral - I need to get an invitation list started cause there was not the expected number of guests that I had imagined would be there.
They were also all sad and pitiful looking - “that won’t do”, I screamed at them.
I was dead … no pain, up in Heaven jaw-jacking with GOD….so why so sad? Oh, I see now - jealousy!! Yeah, I was living the high life now!
I also don’t want people wearing black - that is so awful!!! Wear happy, bright colors.
I think I want the beach party atmosphere at my funeral. Everyone should be given leis as they arrive at my viewing and funeral! Everyone will get lei’d at my funeral!! Awesomeness.
Do you think it is possible to have an open casket at oceanside? I figure, just leave me out there for a couple days and nights … everyone can come and party with me at their leisure. Feel free to place your cans & bottles on my coffin cause even if it does leave a water stain, who cares??? I will soon be 6 feet in the ground.
Do you think I should hire a funeral planner?
Death and the funeral was not the only thing on my mind while I was waiting for that phone call.
I thought of fund raising activities that I could do to obtain the services of a medical team. I thought of how I could possibly conquer this awful thing that took up residence in my body, uninvited, I might add.
Then I thought that I would purge this unwanted, uninvited thing from my body by praying it out. I started praying for the cells in my body to heal. I took up a new interest in losing weight and eating healthy.
Then I got the phone call…."Hi, yes, this is Dianne." Then she asked how I was doing?? Very nervy little bitch, when she held the paper in her hand that told her exactly how the heck I was doing!!! I said I was ok or was I?? I demanded she tell me how I was doing??
She started saying things like, no celiac disease, no strictures, blah, blah, (I was getting irritated as she rambled on in some foreign language,medical-ease, when would she get to the stuff I wanted to know?) and no sign of cancer!! There was what I wanted to hear but didn't think she would ever get through her dissertation!! Woo Hoo…..yes it is true, no cancer. I don’t need a funeral planner yet.
I still think a beach get together of some sort is in order - I will even lay down in the casket for a bit. We could have my funeral dress rehearsal!!! Who is in?? Text me!!
She did inform me that I had a very inflamed stomach. Yeah, thats why I went to the Dr in the first place. Told me to start taking the old medicine in a new way. Thank God she did not tell me I had to insert it rectally! I just have to increase the number of times I take the Pantoprazol. Sweet.
Famous Daves BBQ here I come!!! Diet, you ask??? Yes, I did that for a week….I’m good now - I guess it really works.
Any ideas on what beach we should use for this funeral dress rehearsal??
Seriously tho - thanks for all your prayers!!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Dianne's Journey: THE ILLUSIONIST
Dianne's Journey: THE ILLUSIONIST: "The Illusionist - might that be you? Have you ever stopped to think about it? Probably not. I didn't until I was walking down the street the..."
Saturday, March 5, 2011
CHEWING GUM
Hmmmm......what flavor of gum for me? Oh, there it is - Dentyne Ice. I make my purchase and immediatly pop out a piece of the gum from its blister pack and start chewing.
I am hit with a mouth full of excitement and freshness. Dentyne Ice briefly sets my whole mouth on fire with cool, freshness. Its undescribably pleasant and a bit painful on my tongue. Soon, the flavor settles down and is just pleasant to have in my mouth.
Finally, the gum has lost its pizazz. I usually place the stale piece of gum back in the blister pack and cover it with the piece of the foil packaging that once held it in place.
There are times when I have launched the gum from my mouth with a big thwack sound and it sails in the air and lands somewhere on the ground.
To be totally honest, I also have placed my used up piece of gum under a chair or table, right next to other pieces of colored gum and crusty boogers.
What is my point? Well, as this tiny bubble blew in my head, it started to become larger and larger. Inside the bubble were these thoughts. Now it is time to burst that bubble right here and let you know what thoughts of mine formulated in that bubble.
I was making a comparison of sex to chewing gum.
Each of us are uniquely made by our creator. Each of us holds some tantalizing "flavor" in us.
Our honeymoon night ladies, should be like our husband opening his favorite flavor of gum. He pops you in his mouth and tastes you for the very first time. Then you unwrap your newly betrothed and start to experience him for the first time. What pleasure and ecstasy this moment has for him and you.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRsssssscccccccrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaatttttttccccchhhhhh
HALT, wait a minute here .... I think something is wrong with the packaging.
Your husband sits up and hocks that gum out of his mouth. He is looking at you, his blushing bride, with doubt and disgust in his eyes. He wonders why this new piece of gum tastes used and stale. Your husband has even chipped a tooth from a stone found within the gum.
You, too, have some issues of your own with the piece he has given to you. Yours tastes of smoke and alcohol. Who is this man that you just married? Why do ghosts of other girlfriends seem to be clouding this special moment between you and your husband?
Both of you have just discovered that neither one of you valued your virginity prior to marriage. Another has taken your fresh piece and chewed it already, received that burst of freshness and newness and then spit you out.
Maybe your piece of gum ended up under one of the bleachers at school. Then another came along and had a little taste of your gum. After the next person was through with your gum, it was spit out . Another person, came along and found that spit out piece of gum on the ground, wiped it off and had a little taste.
Maybe you got a piece that was just scraped off the bottom of someones shoe -yuk. That gum was stuck on a shoe right next to a piece of dog poop - double yuk!
The viscious cycle continued. Then you discovered your one true love, and only wanted that person for the rest of your life. You may have left out details of how you shared your piece of gum with others. You may have thought your spouse would never find out.
How many people have had your piece prior to your wedding night? That piece should have been saved for that very special night. What if you pass more than a bad taste on to your spouse on your wedding night? Possibly you had a stale piece one time and it may have carried with it a disease that may be impossible to ever get rid of.
Still a virgin? Then this story is something for you to think about. My plea to you is that you remain a virgin and only share your piece with your spouse - that is how it is truly meant to be. The experience will be worth your wait!
I, too, am held guilty of passing on a piece of stale gum to my first husband. How I now wish that I had held my piece safely tucked away until my wedding night. Its like that fresh tube of toothpaste. If you squeeze out all the toothpaste, there is no way of putting it back in the tube.
My message is to hold on to your virginity, it precious, it fresh and its meant for the person you are going to marry. It holds true for both guys and girls - virginity is virtuous.
I pray that my daughters have not been passed around like a piece of stale gum, leaving stones and bad taste for their future husband.
I also pray that my sons are wise enough not to use up their first piece on someone other than their wife. I also pray that my sons will not try to obtain a fresh piece just for the sake of a good chew!
I pray that my children will do better at this than their Mom did.
Maybe, you are reading this and you can't count the number of times that your gum has been chewed by someone other than your husband or wife. Don't be discouraged. There is always hope. That hope is found in Jesus Christ - He is the one that can save you from your past and give an awesome flavor to your future.
You can have a new life found by trusting Christ as YOUR personal Lord and Savior. All you have to do is ask. Jesus is always listening.
II Corinthians 5:17 says, "Therefore, if any man (or woman) be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."
If you have already accepted Christ as Your Savior, then there is forgiveness available to you - all you have to do is ask.
Something for you to chew on. Love, hugs and kisses to all!
Always Smilin',
Dianne
Phil.4:13
I am hit with a mouth full of excitement and freshness. Dentyne Ice briefly sets my whole mouth on fire with cool, freshness. Its undescribably pleasant and a bit painful on my tongue. Soon, the flavor settles down and is just pleasant to have in my mouth.
Finally, the gum has lost its pizazz. I usually place the stale piece of gum back in the blister pack and cover it with the piece of the foil packaging that once held it in place.
There are times when I have launched the gum from my mouth with a big thwack sound and it sails in the air and lands somewhere on the ground.
To be totally honest, I also have placed my used up piece of gum under a chair or table, right next to other pieces of colored gum and crusty boogers.
What is my point? Well, as this tiny bubble blew in my head, it started to become larger and larger. Inside the bubble were these thoughts. Now it is time to burst that bubble right here and let you know what thoughts of mine formulated in that bubble.
I was making a comparison of sex to chewing gum.
Each of us are uniquely made by our creator. Each of us holds some tantalizing "flavor" in us.
Our honeymoon night ladies, should be like our husband opening his favorite flavor of gum. He pops you in his mouth and tastes you for the very first time. Then you unwrap your newly betrothed and start to experience him for the first time. What pleasure and ecstasy this moment has for him and you.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRsssssscccccccrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaatttttttccccchhhhhh
HALT, wait a minute here .... I think something is wrong with the packaging.
Your husband sits up and hocks that gum out of his mouth. He is looking at you, his blushing bride, with doubt and disgust in his eyes. He wonders why this new piece of gum tastes used and stale. Your husband has even chipped a tooth from a stone found within the gum.
You, too, have some issues of your own with the piece he has given to you. Yours tastes of smoke and alcohol. Who is this man that you just married? Why do ghosts of other girlfriends seem to be clouding this special moment between you and your husband?
Both of you have just discovered that neither one of you valued your virginity prior to marriage. Another has taken your fresh piece and chewed it already, received that burst of freshness and newness and then spit you out.
Maybe your piece of gum ended up under one of the bleachers at school. Then another came along and had a little taste of your gum. After the next person was through with your gum, it was spit out . Another person, came along and found that spit out piece of gum on the ground, wiped it off and had a little taste.
Maybe you got a piece that was just scraped off the bottom of someones shoe -yuk. That gum was stuck on a shoe right next to a piece of dog poop - double yuk!
The viscious cycle continued. Then you discovered your one true love, and only wanted that person for the rest of your life. You may have left out details of how you shared your piece of gum with others. You may have thought your spouse would never find out.
How many people have had your piece prior to your wedding night? That piece should have been saved for that very special night. What if you pass more than a bad taste on to your spouse on your wedding night? Possibly you had a stale piece one time and it may have carried with it a disease that may be impossible to ever get rid of.
Still a virgin? Then this story is something for you to think about. My plea to you is that you remain a virgin and only share your piece with your spouse - that is how it is truly meant to be. The experience will be worth your wait!
I, too, am held guilty of passing on a piece of stale gum to my first husband. How I now wish that I had held my piece safely tucked away until my wedding night. Its like that fresh tube of toothpaste. If you squeeze out all the toothpaste, there is no way of putting it back in the tube.
My message is to hold on to your virginity, it precious, it fresh and its meant for the person you are going to marry. It holds true for both guys and girls - virginity is virtuous.
I pray that my daughters have not been passed around like a piece of stale gum, leaving stones and bad taste for their future husband.
I also pray that my sons are wise enough not to use up their first piece on someone other than their wife. I also pray that my sons will not try to obtain a fresh piece just for the sake of a good chew!
I pray that my children will do better at this than their Mom did.
Maybe, you are reading this and you can't count the number of times that your gum has been chewed by someone other than your husband or wife. Don't be discouraged. There is always hope. That hope is found in Jesus Christ - He is the one that can save you from your past and give an awesome flavor to your future.
You can have a new life found by trusting Christ as YOUR personal Lord and Savior. All you have to do is ask. Jesus is always listening.
II Corinthians 5:17 says, "Therefore, if any man (or woman) be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."
If you have already accepted Christ as Your Savior, then there is forgiveness available to you - all you have to do is ask.
Something for you to chew on. Love, hugs and kisses to all!
Always Smilin',
Dianne
Phil.4:13
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Dianne's Journey: I'll Show Them!!! Hasta La Vista Baby!!
Dianne's Journey: I'll Show Them!!! Hasta La Vista Baby!!: "When you start with the attitude of 'I'll show them' in most instances YOU are doomed for failure. We all get frustrated with one another ..."
Friday, January 28, 2011
I'll Show Them!!! Hasta La Vista Baby!!
When you start with the attitude of "I'll show them" in most instances YOU are doomed for failure.
We all get frustrated with one another from time to time. Don't associate with those people. Be who God wants you to be.
By always biting when others "bait" you, you are actually serving them and their purposes ultimately proving you are a push over and easy to manipulate. I know its hard not to be bothered by the small attitudes/actions of others but don't turn around and act just like them.
I can't believe how much you have going for you and what wonderful things lay ahead for you.
Hasta La Vista baby to them and their immature actions and words. Hasta La Vista Baby to the blindness of some and inconsiderate actions of others.
Yes, even I have participated in immature behavior, thinking that I was in your corner by doing so....I needed to just model a humble attitude and show you how to just let it roll off your back.
Its funny - I can handle others doing or saying things to me - but talk about my kids and the devil in me comes out. I am sorry for not always acting appropriately as the model you look to.
YES, for sure others have done you wrong - as most recently as Today!! I have brought it to the attention of the appropriate person. Now, if that person choses to do nothing - then she should be ashamed...but my job was done. I don't need to continue with it. I know that is what God would want me to do.
I still have thoughts that need to be put under Gods control also - You probably would ask me - well, nothing wrong with thinking as long as you aren't doing....WRONG. The thoughts are where your actions arise from.
So when I want to go to someone and rip their pretty lil locks from their head - that is sin on my part. This has always been hard for me to understand. I think because I just became a Christian this past August and some of my behaviors were ingrained in me and I know that God forgives...I just let myself keep acting in past ways, thinking God would forgive me. He does forgive me BUT God also wants a change in my past behavior to be in step with HIM.
It makes me think of the phrase, "Killing them with kindness" - I do think that is true. My habit of being nasty is slowly being transformed with being kind and loving in all instances. Yes I still am Ms. Nasty/Nice but with Gods help and my persistence to do what God wants me to do... I will be pleasing in Gods eyes and in mine!!
I already know what your response to this will be - "I will not let anyone walk all over me." It is not about letting everyone walk all over you but about letting God work in and through you. What you may see as weak, I now see as strong and bold and courageous. Its harder to turn the other cheek. You will be amazed at the reaction that you will get from others.
We all get frustrated with one another from time to time. Don't associate with those people. Be who God wants you to be.
By always biting when others "bait" you, you are actually serving them and their purposes ultimately proving you are a push over and easy to manipulate. I know its hard not to be bothered by the small attitudes/actions of others but don't turn around and act just like them.
I can't believe how much you have going for you and what wonderful things lay ahead for you.
Hasta La Vista baby to them and their immature actions and words. Hasta La Vista Baby to the blindness of some and inconsiderate actions of others.
Yes, even I have participated in immature behavior, thinking that I was in your corner by doing so....I needed to just model a humble attitude and show you how to just let it roll off your back.
Its funny - I can handle others doing or saying things to me - but talk about my kids and the devil in me comes out. I am sorry for not always acting appropriately as the model you look to.
YES, for sure others have done you wrong - as most recently as Today!! I have brought it to the attention of the appropriate person. Now, if that person choses to do nothing - then she should be ashamed...but my job was done. I don't need to continue with it. I know that is what God would want me to do.
I still have thoughts that need to be put under Gods control also - You probably would ask me - well, nothing wrong with thinking as long as you aren't doing....WRONG. The thoughts are where your actions arise from.
So when I want to go to someone and rip their pretty lil locks from their head - that is sin on my part. This has always been hard for me to understand. I think because I just became a Christian this past August and some of my behaviors were ingrained in me and I know that God forgives...I just let myself keep acting in past ways, thinking God would forgive me. He does forgive me BUT God also wants a change in my past behavior to be in step with HIM.
It makes me think of the phrase, "Killing them with kindness" - I do think that is true. My habit of being nasty is slowly being transformed with being kind and loving in all instances. Yes I still am Ms. Nasty/Nice but with Gods help and my persistence to do what God wants me to do... I will be pleasing in Gods eyes and in mine!!
I already know what your response to this will be - "I will not let anyone walk all over me." It is not about letting everyone walk all over you but about letting God work in and through you. What you may see as weak, I now see as strong and bold and courageous. Its harder to turn the other cheek. You will be amazed at the reaction that you will get from others.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Tucson Tragedy - Coming together as Americans 1-12-11
Then Eric Holder followed with a reading from the New Testament. This tragedy in Tucson has left us speechless. I am so glad that President Obama came to Tucson to help all of us in Arizona go through the healing process. My sympathy goes o...ut to each of the family and friends of the individuals that were senselessly gunned down last Saturday - U.S. District Judge John Roll, Dorthy Morris, Dorwin Stoddard, Christina Greene, Phyllis Scheck, and Gabe Zimmerman. The one that affects me the most is the death of 9 year old Christina Greene, born on 9-11-01, lost her life last Saturday...a day when 2 of my children - Brandi and Chaz - were going to Tucson to go snowboarding at Mt Lemmon. Christina won't have that chance to load up with her friends and go snowboarding, she is dancing her last dance on the clouds in heaven.
I can't make order at all out of any of this chaos ... I am warmed and touched by the speeches given tonight.
My prayers are with Gabby Giffords and her family. My prayers are also with the others that remain in the hospital and are continuiing their physical healing.My prayers are with the Drs and staff that work with these individuals - guide their hands, give them the wisdom, Lord that only YOU can give.
My prayers are also with with the parents of Jared Loughner...they must be so very torn up. I have tried to imagine how I would feel if it were my son and I am sure I don't even come close to what they are feeling right now. It was their son NOT them ... lets embrace them and uplift prayers on their behalf also.
I go out on a limb here but also feel that Jared Loughner needs our prayers also. Let me be clear - NOT our SYMPATHY but prayers. What a tortured individual he must be. Pray that justice is swift. I also pray for the guards and officers that are in charge of keeping him as an inmate. I pray that no one will attempt to take justice in their own hands even tho that is a feeling each of us have that we would like to "take care of" Jared Loughner and dish out our own punishment towards him.
As President Obama said, "Lets as a country live up to our childrens expectations!!!" I say, "Lets go one step further and live up to God's expectations."
I love Arizona and I love America!!
I can't make order at all out of any of this chaos ... I am warmed and touched by the speeches given tonight.
My prayers are with Gabby Giffords and her family. My prayers are also with the others that remain in the hospital and are continuiing their physical healing.My prayers are with the Drs and staff that work with these individuals - guide their hands, give them the wisdom, Lord that only YOU can give.
My prayers are also with with the parents of Jared Loughner...they must be so very torn up. I have tried to imagine how I would feel if it were my son and I am sure I don't even come close to what they are feeling right now. It was their son NOT them ... lets embrace them and uplift prayers on their behalf also.
I go out on a limb here but also feel that Jared Loughner needs our prayers also. Let me be clear - NOT our SYMPATHY but prayers. What a tortured individual he must be. Pray that justice is swift. I also pray for the guards and officers that are in charge of keeping him as an inmate. I pray that no one will attempt to take justice in their own hands even tho that is a feeling each of us have that we would like to "take care of" Jared Loughner and dish out our own punishment towards him.
As President Obama said, "Lets as a country live up to our childrens expectations!!!" I say, "Lets go one step further and live up to God's expectations."
I love Arizona and I love America!!
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