Ladies, have you given much thought to that reproductive organ that you carry in your pelvis? The organ the size of a fist that can do a marvelous work for many of us - yes, I'm talking aboout the uterus. This little ball of smooth involuntary muscle can also have us in pain, feeling sick and ready to terminate its existence once a month.
Guys, you can't really relate to this because I don't think the majority of you men want to undergo a penectomy! A lot of guys have even named their gentalia, so I think they are fairly well attached to their reproductive organ.
I have a departure date for my womb, August 19th, 2011 at 9 am! My uterus has served me long and now it has become more of an encumberance than a thing of joy. We do live in a disposable society and since my uterus has outlived its usefulness, its time to say goodbye.
I do appreciate my womb for all the hard work it has done. My uterus has been an incubator for babies I gave birth to and those that I miscarried. My uterus has served as a baby hugger for 8 years, 8 months, 12 days and 6 hours. This figure includes all conception that was in my uterus, whether born alive or not.
I really overworked my poor uterus. My uterus tried to hang a retired sign up at one point but I showed it wrong and immediatly got pregnant!!! I will not be told what to do by any lower organ part in my body! Strike that last sentence because my little tiny gallbladder sure demanded my attention and permanently retired itself from my body!
The decision to "retire" my uterus has come with much thought. My uterus has been very attention seeking the last 4 years. I have had cramping that keeps me whimpering for hours. I have sought help from narcotics to ease the pain that it readily dishes out for weeks at a time.
I think my Dr has been more pensive than I over the removal of my uterus. I told her over a year ago to get rid of it. She told me that we should think about some other alternatives. It was like she was going to miss my uterus when it was gone.
So the past year has been filled with "thinking" which included 2 D&C's and a hydro ablation. While thinking about saying goodbye to my uterus, the uterus has been kind enough to fill me with bloating and pain.
Oh and besides the pain, I also was blessed with heavy monthly periods. Clots that I gave birth to and actually named. Cooper just about killed me...I named him Cooper because it was like a Mac truck with Cooper tires being ran all over me. (I threw the Cooper tire analogy in there to keep the guys reading because I think I was going to lose them at heavy periods and jumbo clots.)
My uterus does hold many good memories and the walls of my uterus are filled with the names written there by my babies. It is loaded with laughter, tears, and memories of the life that was begun there - in their womb without a view.
Those darned kids of mine occupied their time creatively though. In between kicks and sleeping, those fetuses took their time to engrave their names or initials on the wall of their watery den.
Beth and Ashleigh each engraved their name with flair. Both of them chose to engrave their WHOLE name!!! Beth drew a lil bunny rabbit beside her name(if you know Beth, you know why). Ashleigh spent hours doing pirouettes and plies - the plies just about ripped the uterus apart!!
Shawn is the one I got a kick out of...no, really, he kicked me a lot!! Shawn refused to come out on time, he said his sentence had been extended for bad behaviour!! Whenever I was in the stirrups at the Drs office and the Dr shined the light on my cervix, Shawn would bounce off the walls in an attempt to hide from who he thought was the cops. Shawn had to be born at home since there was the thought that the law would be waiting for him to arrive at the hospital.
Oh and of course, Shawn did his name in graffitti - bold and wonderful and somewhat unreadable.
Brandi and Krystal bedazzled their name in glitzy rhinestone. Don't ask how the bedazzler got in there!! Just think I improvised and went to WalMart instead of Fantasy Mart. Enough said.
Brandi is the only one of my kids who shared the womb with a sibling. Brandi wasn't having that!! I don't know what exactly went on in there but Brandi just isn't the sharing type and kicked her sibling to the curb.
Kelly kept trying to get more light in the womb and was constantly flicking her bic. So with her love of hot stuff, she used a woodburner to do her name. At one point, the amniotic fluid came to a boil and we had to shut her down for a while. I am just thankful for her name being short!
Stephanie did her name all in caps. She wanted to be bold and stand out, so that no one would ever forget. Stephanie, you are always in my heart!
Carley used chalk and soft pastel colors. I barely knew she was putting her name on the wall. She did not ever cause me much pain or grief. She just enjoyed the hugs that the womb provided her.
Trisha was in bold, bright purple permanent marker with dark black outlining. It is like readable graffiti. Trisha did not eat a lot while she was in the womb and came out as my smallest little baby at 6lbs 7oz.
Then Chaz came along and he changed up the womb for his stay. He made jumps and had many practice sessions getting his 360 down. He barely had time to put his name on the wall. Right below his name is a lil trademark symbol that looks like TK...hmmm.... (He now is part of Turner/Kuhn Racing)
Brandon loved the dominoes that he found in the womb. He utilized those to construct a robot. Then he made the most of his engineering capabilities and measured and perfected each letter of his name.
Christian just left a foot and hand print and then flew away to Jesus. He left the same prints on my heart. I love you baby boy. Stephanie and Christian are rocking the streets of gold in heaven....Jesus has earplugs.
I have made very good use of my uterus. Now it is time for us to part. It is like a balloon that has been blown up way too many times. It has spots that are worn thin and may just rupture if anything else occupies its space. The door to the womb is closed and to ensure that it stays closed, it is being removed and placed in the womb hall of fame.
With all the stories that my adenomyosis riddled uterus could tell, I am thinking of selling it on E-Bay. Maybe some gynecologist could use it as real life lecture material as what NOT to do to your uterus. Maybe some scientist could study it and develop cells from it to help someone who is desperately trying to get pregnant. Maybe it should just go in some museum somewhere to let others enjoy the stories it has to tell.
I just know this, I am misty yet relieved to be parting with my womb. I appreciate all you have done for me. I should have known you were done when you fell out and I had to drag you along behind me. I am sorry it took me years of dragging you across rough stones, burning hot sand and grass that tickled you to finally carry you in a soft comfy purse when I went out.
Look for Dianne's Womb on E-Bay....coming this August 2011!
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