Letting go....

I have discovered that I have many things that I just need to let go of. I am reflecting on the fact that in 6 and a half short months I have another daughter who will be 18!! Brandi is a senoir at Florence High School and she is a Varsity Cheerleader (her passion that keeps her going to school - well, that and she wants to be a school teacher!). I think I have done a fairly good job at allowing her to make most decisions on her own....very hard at times! Her decisions right now at this point are mainly her own. She does need to let me know where she is going and with who ... but even if I do not like or approve of the who part - I still let her make that choice and be accountable for that choice. I do mention that she should chose her friends carefully and cautiously.  NO, I do not let her go out with the local pimp or the town drunk or even the local drug dealer. I do let her go with her friends, some of whom I do not approve of, but so far she has mainly made reasonable choices even when those questionable friends have not made good choices. She is not perfect and has made choices that have deeply grieved me.  I have wanted to, at times, put Brandi in a protective bubble where only things that I allow would get in. In the Bubble could be things like "Christian" friends, church functions, the Bible, Education, yes, I would allow cheer, family gatherings and even cheer camp! Her boyfriend would have to pass the Christian litmus test. But there comes a time, when I need to trust in the parenting that I have done,I have to entrust her into Gods hands and pray that she follows what she has learned in Church, AWANA and other Godly influences. Note that I did not include that she should follow her Mother's path for I have fallen short and only recently began trusting in Christ for my direction. Yes, we attended church and Bible Study and AWANA but that did not make me a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes me a car. I have to trust Brandi to do what is right and good and just let her go.....6 months is a short time to do this. I still am her Mother and I still have those protective instincts. I will NOT put up with her disrespect and I will still issue "punishment" for her disrespectful attitude. I am not saying I will just let her go and run wild ... if I see her out of control...I will come along side her and assist her back on the path. In that assistance she may see me as overbearing or mean and that is exactly what it may look like to her but it won't be. I also pray that Brandi is a Christian.I pray that her walk with Christ will grow. I pray that my being a "fake" Christian will not have distracted her too far from the path that God has intended for her. I will also pray for her friends and boyfriend, Curtis. She really has turned into a beautiful young lady and I am so very proud of her. She is full of life and energy. I can't tell you how exciting it has been to raise Brandi - a gift from God that no one can take away from me. Lord, I turn Brandi over to YOU. Please watch over her, guide and direct and even punish her as YOU see fit. I can not be with her all the time anymore...I no longer hold her tiny hand but will always hold her heart. Let her know how much she means to me and to this family. Help her to see how important it is to have a life given completely over to Christ. Hold her in the palm of YOUR hand and protect her. I love you Brandi Heather Nicole - a senoir in HS and well on your way!! I believe in You! Love forever - Your Mom