Remotes?

I am thinking about all of our conveinances in life - from the automobile to the microwave...all there in plain sight and reach to make our life simpler. I just wonder if that was the thought when the remote for the TV, VCR, fan, lights, etc was created. My thoughts would be to create something called....drum roll please....
THE HANDY CONTROLLER.
This device would be an adjustable velcro strap that fits right on your forearm and is programmable for up to 7 devices!!!
Life has been more difficult since the invention of the remote. First off the name "remote" fits its exactly! It usually is remotely removed from your presence when you want it the most. Notice I did not say "need" it the most. I am a female and am perfectly capable of breaking the suction of my tush on the comfy leather couch and going to the object that I want to turn on or off and pushing a button. Men on the other hand, consider the remote a "need". I have witnessed mechanics, engineers and even Drs search endlessly for a remote when in 4 - 8 steps they could of had the device that they wanted on - actually on. Tempers flare, accusations fly and the living room looks like a disaster area. Then, the remote, is located with peanut butter and jelly smeared all over it because your tiny tot is trying to control his dragon with the remote control. He can't seem to make the dragon chew and swallow!!!
Ok, so my invention would always be near - hence the name "handy". You wear it and you won't set it somewhere while you go to answer the phone. The most fun some of us women have had is watching the men in our life search for remotes!!! Yet, these same men who are tireless warriors as they search for the remote become overworked and tired when it comes time to taking out the trash. So, get 2 "Handy Controllers" and let the fun begin. There will be dualing Handy Controllers. Whoever gets to their channel at the top of the hour - gets to watch what they chose. They can lock out the other remote until 1 hour is up. Now say, that said overworked and tired male person decides to take out the trash with a renewed strength - then maybe, just maybe they can turn the football game on and you will give up Dr. Phil for one night.
I think it would also be interesting to enter in cheat codes....these codes can only be obtained by answering questions on baby care, household cleaning tactics, and the latest Dr Oz tips! I am all about empowering women. I am kinda over watching men make fools of themselves searching for remotes.
Also ... be on the look out for the tattooed controller that would be a microchip imbedded in your arm with the tattoo of a controller placed on your forearm....several manly styles to choose from. There would be no misplacing this controller unless while using a chainsaw ... your arm was accidentally buzzed off. No, in that instance it probably would be the forearm without the controller imbedded in it - You are in luck!!!
Look for more ramblings from my mind. Some of it is real life, some how real life is and some is life in the reality of my mind.

Always Smilin',
Dianne
Phil 4:13